I'm 17 years old; a prospective senior in high school.
There is so much I have accomplished in these 17 years. There is so much I wish I had done. There is so much I have learned. There is so much left.
I have yet to write anything about my mission trip to West Virginia and I have yet to conclude writing about my mission trip to Mississippi. So much is happening in my life and those tales are going untold.
I feel very thoughtful at the moment. Which is always an unfortunate feeling to have at 3am. I almost feel regretful, but that doesn't seem fair. My life has been grand. I think about school now. I don't feel particularly smart. I can read and write well enough I suppose. I still have not mastered correct grammar, but I do try. Science eludes me as it always has. I get by in math somehow. I survive, though at times I don't feel I deserve it. As I sit here meditating I realize that I wish I had done better in school. I wish I could be valedictorian. Though it isn't for the reasons that may seem obvious. Of course being valedictorian would increase my chances at attending the school of my choice, but that isn't very important to me at the moment. Being valedictorian means speaking at graduation to my peers. It means preparing a speech for the class of 2008. My speech would be meditative, inspiring, and conclusive.
Anyways, I know that was random. Perhaps I will be more random later when I plan to tell more of my ponderings. For now I shall go back to my book.
Goodnight!
3 comments:
I thought of your blog post as I was reading the July 24th Proverbs 31 Woman daily devotional. Maybe you could check it out. It is about making decisions and having peace with life. The title of the post is Lord, What should I do?
http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com/2007/07/lord-what-should-i-do.html
Completely separately, I felt that way around 14:30 today, but for different reasons.
Taking a break from the book (which had kept me up almost until sunrise the night before), I had my computer import all of my Gmail messages into Outlook. Two and a half years of memories, nearly 10,000 messages, popping up, one-by-one in my "inbox."
I was proud of all that I've done, and yet, it tore me apart. Needless to say, I slept these feelings away for the balance of the afternoon.
I guess we're all being reflective these days...
graduation is the coolest time ever...you make me jealous! i want to do it again! =(
anyway, i say you should hold a tailgate party before the ceremony during which you can give a speech! :-D
(this is gabrielle from church, btw!)
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