Single...

It was a year and a half...a few days more...today.

I broke up with Chris.

I knew he wasn't the one I would marry, so I broke up with him.

Then I cried. Actually I cried before, during, and after. I cried a lot.

We promised to be best friends still and to talk a lot.

I told him I would always love him, he agreed that he felt the same.

I had to go to my dads then so we said goodbye. We both said "i love you" before I left.

I was very bleary-eyed. Tears came a lot. Breathing was difficult at times.

I got home and went online to talk to people.

Chris and I talked. It seemed like it was before we started dating. It wasn't awkward.

My crying lessened the more we talked.

Then he got offline...that was weird. I didn't feel it was right to text his phone like I used to do.

I said "i love you ttyl" when he left...he just said "ttyl" maybe he doesn't love me as much as I still love him.

Maybe he just felt hurt. I still love him.

I'll see him at VBS and the West Virginia mission trip over the summer, and other times hopefully too.

I'm looking forward to seeing him and being friends, I hope he is too.

I'm single now. But I miss him.

I'll get by. But I miss him. I keep seeing things he's given me: my ring, his picture, pictures of the two of us, flowers from homecoming. I kept them all in a box.

I saw the box and I cried.

All my friends are being consoling...its nice of them.

I texted his phone saying "i wanted to say i love you and goodnight before you go to bed...so ya i love you g'night"

He replied "Lol k. Love you too. Night"

That made me smile. He said he loves me too. That means we're still friends.

Andrea says it is like we are still dating. But I feel the difference. I miss him.

I cried while I wrote this.

Chris was my first boyfriend we dated for 1 year 6 months and 9 days. We broke up on the 9th day. That is a long time.

It was time well spent. We made bonds that will never break. Part of my heart will always be with him and vice versa.

Anyways...I'm single now. I think I'll be like this for a while.

Loving Him Always Forever