DayDream

I think that I live at least half of my life in a dream. I sit around the house, on the internet, reading a book, and every other thing I do, but while all this is occuring my mind is racing through its own little world. Any possible thing that could happen i've thought of and played out in my mind. Adding things that may not even be possible, or that are possible but I would never let happen and I dramatize them within my mind. I live my life in a fantasy. The "real world" can be harsh and cruel. I have found two escapes, my books, and my dreams. Sometimes I sit with a glazed look on my face and people think that i'm upset. Rarely, am I upset. Is it wrong to live in my dreams, is it wrong to avoid the reality of the world. Of course not everything in the world is bad, the good things should be cherished. But is it so wrong to escape the bad. Maybe it is bad to escape by means of drugs or other illegalities, but within the context of my mind I can do anything, I can (and do) imagine myself doing things that in reality I can't do.
Although not all daydreams are good. I've imagined, my death, the deaths of others close to me, crimes commited towards myself and others, and many other nightmarish things. My mind cries and screams in agony as I writh in my self-created pain. The pain that is created within the context of my mind as I try to escape the pain in reality. The distressed thoughts that cross my mind amidst a wonderful dream...the difference though is that in the middle of my fits of tears, and pain, the feelings of rage as I imagine my worst nightmares I can change the direction. In my mind I can turn the worst situations miraculously better by unrealistic means.
I don't know exactly what I was trying to say in this entry except that I have found my escape. I hide in the deep corners of my mind, the place where my dreams, fears, pain, rage, tears, happiness, and fantasies reside.

Luv ya all!